SD Driving Test
by Hikaru R. Kudou
Summary: COMPLETED. Ever wondered what could have happened during the characters' driving tests? They may be brilliant when it comes to basketball but what about cars? Will they succeed? Will their tester survive?
1. Shohoku

**Title:** Driving Disasters (formerly Why the Slam Dunk Cast Do Not Drive)  
**Chapter: **1/3  
**Genre: **Non-yaoi (A/N: Are my eyes deceiving me? Non-yaoi?), Humour, General  
**Warning: **Vaguely OOC, senseless stuff, attempted humour, some grammatical mistakes

**DISCLAIMER: **Only the storyline and OC's belong to me…

**Intro: **Why they don't drive cars? No, aside from their age factor, I mean. Simply because they fail their driving test! And now, I leave it to their driving instructor, Mr. Kageyama Hoshi, to tell his story…  
**- - - - - - - - - - -**

Why Sakuragi Hanamichi Fails His Driving Test 

Kageyama: Good morning, Sakuragi Hanamichi-kun.

Sakuragi: Morning. It's Sakuragi 'Tensai' Hanamichi, for your information.

Kageyama: Err, right. So, any experience in driving or with cars, uh, Tensai-kun?

Sakuragi: *seems pretty pleased* Yeah, obviously! You can't expect anything less from a genius, can you? I see people drive all the time, and I daresay I know how to drive like the back of my hand. Did I tell you about my subscription on automobile magazines? I tell you the good ones; blah blah blah…

Kageyama: Excellent, excellent. Now please, start the engine.

Sakuragi: *inserts key* Damn it, it won't budge!

Kageyama: *sweat drops* The other way…

Sakuragi: *laughs, hiding his embarrassment* Of course I know that! The genius is only testing you!

Kageyama: *sweat drops again* Whatever you say…Okay, now, begin!

Sakuragi: *steps on the pedal* Why isn't this &%^# moving??

Kageyama: You're stepping on the brakes.

Sakuragi: …Ahahahaha! Just checking!

**Notes: **Student only knows how to talk big. Driving is not, and most probably would never be, his strong point.

**Further Notes:** Never ask students about their experience with cars. Chances are they have none.

- - - - - - - - - -

Why Rukawa Kaede Fails His Driving Test 

Kageyama: Good morning, Rukawa-kun.

Rukawa: Hn.

Kageyama: Are you ready to begin?

Rukawa: Hn…

Kageyama: I'll take that as a yes. Start the engine, if you please. Okay. *turns to his notepad* You may begin now.

            The car does not move at all.

Rukawa: Zzzz…

            After three bruises, two almost-broken ribs and one major headache….

Kageyama: Stay awake! You can't sleep while driving!

Rukawa: *mumbles* Says who?

Kageyama: The police. Let's get this over with as soon as possible.

            So Rukawa drives…until the car comes to a halt. It appears that a HUGE mob of fan-girls has surrounded the car.

Fan-girl #1: Oooh, Rukawa-kun, Rukawa-kun, you're so sexy!

Fan-girl #2: Rukawa~! Take me for a drive!!

Fan-girl #3: Kiss me, baby, kiss me!

Kageyama: What in the name of…

Rukawa: Ahou ga…Zzzzz…

**Notes: **Student cannot keep his eyes open at all times. It is discovered he's immune to caffeine.

**Further Notes: **Spent three whole hours scrubbing lipstick stains off the car.

- - - - - - - - - - -

**Why Kogure Kiminobu Fails His Driving Test**

Kogure: Good morning, Driving Instructor-san!

Kageyama: Good morning, Kogure-kun…eh?

Kogure: Anything wrong?

Kageyama: From this picture, you're wearing glasses. But at the moment…? Did you get contact lenses?

Kogure: No, it's not like that. My little cousin has broken my spectacles. I sent them to my optic shop to get them repaired.

Kageyama: Can you see without them?

Kogure: Well, I reckon so. Are you planning to postpone my test?

Kageyama: *looks at his schedule* I'm afraid I have no spare time in the near future. Can you drive today?

Kogure: I'll endeavour. Thank you, Mr., uh, I beg your pardon…

Kageyama: _What a polite young man…_ Kageyama, Kageyama Hoshi.

            And so, Kogure begins his task…

Kogure: Very nice weather, ne, Kageyama-sensei?

Kageyama: Ah? *looks up at the sky* On the contrary…Judging from the dark clouds above I believe it'll be raining soon…

Kogure: Oh, my mistake.

            What Kageyama doesn't know is, whilst he is busy scrutinizing the skies, he has overlooked a **very **important signpost.

            It says: **DANGER. FOREST AREA. BEWARE OF WILD BEARS.**

**Notes:** Make sure bespectacled students are wearing their glasses during the test, by hook or by crook.

**Further Notes: **Lost 5kg due to intensive marathon.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Why Mitsui Hisashi Fails His Driving Test 

Kageyama: Mitsui Hisashi?

Mitsui: *grins* None other.

Kageyama: I'm Kageyama Hoshi, your instructor and tester for today.

Mitsui: Aa. Kogure told me about the bear incident. Nasty cuts you have there.

Kageyama: *winces* I know. Shall we begin?

Mitsui: By all means. Oh, before that… *takes out his sunglasses from his pocket* I have to look cool for this.

            Fifteen minutes later…

Kageyama: *nodding* _Ah, there's a traffic light. Let's see how he handles this…_

            The light is about to turn red…

Mitsui: *keeps on driving, does not stop*

Kageyama: Gyaaa! Watch out for that lorry!

Mitsui: *avoids it in the nick of time*

Kageyama: *recovers from his shock* Didn't you see the red light?

Mitsui: What red light?

**Notes:** Ban sunglasses at all costs.

**Further Notes:** Barely escaped from a traffic officer.

- - - - - - - - - -

Why Miyagi Ryota Fails His Driving Test 

Miyagi: Hello, Kageyama-sensei!

Kageyama: Hello, Miyagi-kun. Are you prepared?

Miyagi: Hai! Once I get my driving license, the first thing I'll do is asking Aya-chan out on a date!

Kageyama: *sweat drops* Ah, yes, that's very—err, thoughtful of you. For now, why don't we concentrate on your test…

            On the road…

Miyagi: I know exactly what type of cars Aya-chan adores! That day, I was just saying to my friend…

Kageyama: Now, try reversing the car… *turns a deaf ear, wondering who this Aya-chan is, and is undecided to think if she's lucky or the other way around*

Miyagi: *obeys* You know, Aya-chan is…

Kageyama: *trying to be patient* Yes, I'm sure I'd like to meet her in person…

            Without warning a red sports car zooms past them…

Miyagi: Oh, look! It's Aya-chan! Who's the guy with her? Can it be—? *kicks into high gear, going after the sports car*

Kageyama: Reverse! REVERSE, I say! NOT forward! Aiieee!!!!!

**Notes: **No cure for a lovesick teenager—yet.

**Further Notes: **Escaped from being pursued by an officer, thanks to student's extreme speed and recklessness.

**P/s: **It turned out that "Aya-chan's" companion was no more than a cousin brother.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Why Akagi Takenori Fails His Driving Test 

Kageyama: *gawks at Akagi's incredible height*

Akagi: I'm here for the test.

Kageyama: *snaps out of his speechlessness* Great…ah…very well…

            And so…

Kageyama: *nods in approval* Ah! Be careful! There're plenty of sharp turns here!

Akagi: *turns the steering wheel to the right…left…right…until* …Ooops…

Kageyama: Huh?

Akagi: *holds the disengaged steering wheel in front of him*

Kageyama, Akagi: *hugging one another in total terror* AAAAaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

**Notes: **Remind the student to be gentle.

**Further Notes: **Fainted the whole time, therefore no further notes recorded.

**[to be continued]**

Author's Notes: Funny? Not funny? I hope it's the former…


	2. Haruko, Kainan & Shoyo

**Title: **Driving Disasters aka Why the Slam Dunk Cast Do Not Drive  
**Chapter:** 2/3  
**Genre: **Non-yaoi (A/N: No kidding, it's non-yaoi for real), Humour, General  
**Warning: **Mild OOC (actually, I'm not sure…), irrational materials, attempted comedy, some grammatical errors, poor English  
**DISCLAIMER: **The name Hikaru Kudou is not in Dr. T's place, so by right that means SD is not mine. Excuse me while my angst gets to me…

**Intro: **Why they don't drive cars? No, aside from their age factor, I mean. Simply because they fail their driving test! And now, I leave it to their driving instructor, the long-suffering Mr. Kageyama Hoshi (Oh, wow, he's _still _alive! It's a phenomenon!), to narrate his _long_ anecdote…  
- - - - - - - - - - -

Why Haruko Akagi Fails Her Driving Test 

Haruko: Ohaiyo, Kageyama-sensei!

Kageyama: Ohaiyo. Kimi wa Akagi Takenori no imouto desu ka? Akagi Haruko?

Haruko: Hai!

Kageyama: *relieves to see the sister is **very** unlike the brother* All right.

Haruko: *sits behind the steering wheel*

Kageyama: Yosh! Let's begin! You have the key?

Haruko: *inserts the key*

            Five minutes passed…

Kageyama: Okay…so now, you'll have to turn the key to start the car…

            Add another five minutes…

Kageyama: *starting to get impatient* Now that the engine has started…step on the pedal down there…

Haruko: *bursts crying* I'm scared, Kageyama-sensei…*holds the driving instructor's hands* You see here…my hands…they are cold…shaking…weak…

Kageyama: It's alright, it's alright…you can do this…

Haruko: What if I mess up? I'm too young to die! What if I run over an elderly grandma?

Kageyama: *sighs* Let's do this slowly, don't rush…

            Maybe 'slowly' is not an appropriate word at all. As the sun sets in the horizon…

Haruko: *still crying buckets* What if I can't dry forever? They say it's normal for a girl to be weak, but I really can't help myself…

Kageyama: *nods absentmindedly, and suddenly notices the girl has ceased moaning and crying* Ms. Akagi?

Haruko: *unconscious*

**Notes:** Student has no self-confidence. End of story.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Why Jin Soichirou Fails His Driving Test 

Jin: Am I doing it correctly?

Kageyama: Yes, you're doing fine. Let's see, what else haven't we covered…

Jin: Parking the car, if I am not mistaken.

Kageyama: Oh, right. How about we try to park around here? There's only a handful of vehicles here…

Jin: If you insist

Kageyama: There, try parking the car right there…

Jin: *follows his instruction*

Kageyama: *smiles in relief* Great job—wha??

            The car stoops to the left.

Jin: Oh dear…I didn't almost park the car in the drain, did I? *unconsciously moves nearer to Kageyama to look, causing the car to lean even more*

Kageyama: Don't move! If you do the car will end up in the drain. And yes, you **did**. I think left front wheel is in the drainage ditch…

Jin: *smiles nervously* Saa…then we'll just have to sit real still…

Kageyama: *slightly pale* Aa…to maintain the balance of the car…*feels a mosquito on his nose*

Jin: There's a mosquito! I'll get it for you.

Kageyama: *eyes wide open* NO!!! DON'T!!!!

Jin: *spanks Kageyama's nose, er, the mosquito, I mean*

            Creek…creek…creek…BUMP!

**Notes: **Student is too helpful for his own good.

**Further Notes: **Student missed the mosquito.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Kiyota Nobunaga Fails His Driving Test 

Kiyota: I'm Kiyota Nobunaga, the golden rookie.

Kageyama: Uh…nice to meet your acquaintance. I'm your tester, Kageyama Hoshi.

Kiyota: I **still**don't know why must there be a driving test in the first place. Driving can't be **that** hard—at least, not for a golden rookie like me.

Kageyama: _Is he by any chance a relative of that so-called genius?_ You've driven a car before?

Kiyota: Yeah, of course.

Kageyama: *raises an eyebrow* What type of car?

Kiyota: Remote control cars.

Kageyama: *falls anime style* _Why do I feel something bad is bound to happen?_

            Kiyota goggles at the steering wheel and some other push buttons.

Kageyama: Is there anything amiss?

Kiyota: It's **way **different from the remote control ones.

Kageyama: *yells impatiently* What did you expect????

            Somehow, Kiyota miraculously manages to get the car on the road. As Kiyota is driving, somebody calls out his name, er, nickname.

Sakuragi: *standing in front of a Pachinko shop* Oi! Nozaru!

Kiyota: *withdraws the window screen in a flash* You! Red-headed monkey!

Kageyama: _Well, what do you know…they **are** related…_

Sakuragi: Nyahahahaha….!!!!

Kiyota: Urusei! Can't you see I'm busy right now?

Sakuragi: You'll fail anyway, so why bother?

Kiyota: *fumes* Oh, yeah?? *kicks into high gear, glares at Sakuragi* I'll show you!!!

Kageyama: *is thrown backwards* Ohmygodmygodmygodmygod….

            After moving less than one metre, the car hits a nearby fire hydrant. Sakuragi laughs his head off as the unfortunate fire hydrant transforms into a wrecked and out of shape fountain.

Kiyota: Shut up! You failed too! *gets out of the car and slams the door angrily*

Sakuragi: *infuriated, marches toward Kiyota*

Kageyama: To think I just polished the car this morning…

**Notes:** Some people _still _don't know they're supposed to pay attention while driving

**Further Notes:** Had to take both of the injured, quarrelling monkeys to the nearest vet—since the clinics are closed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Maki Shinichi Fails His Driving Test 

Kageyama: You're the MVP player, aren't you?

Maki: Yes.

Kageyama: I hope you'll do well in this test, since you're the MVP and all…maybe they'll dub you the MVD next, huh?

Maki: *shrugs humbly*

Kageyama: Maybe we should move on to your parking?

Maki: No problem.

Kageyama: We're at the parking lot. A good place to test you. OK, careful now…

Maki: *reverses the car, making sure he closes the distance between the car he is driving with the other car cautiously*

Kageyama: Good, good…little by little, slowly…that's it…

            Unexpectedly…

Kiyota: *who happens to be nearby, cries loudly* Good luck, Maki-san!

Maki: *surprised, he drives the car backwards one inch more than necessary, thus crashing into the car behind. Make that **cars **since that car hits the car behind it, and so forth…In short, think dominoes*

Kiyota: Mom's CAR!!!

**Notes: **Make sure students remain calm and uninterrupted constantly.

**Further Notes: **Withdrew a huge sum of money to pay for the profuse damage—plus a lawyer or two.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Fujima Kenji Fails His Driving Test 

Kageyama: *nodding his head* You're a really fast learner. That's good.

Fujima: *smiles* Thank you, sensei. People do associate my name with the word 'fast'. I'm glad it's not merely a groundless compliment.

Kageyama: I…I see.

Fujima: Does that mean I passed the test, Kageyama-sensei?

Kageyama: Certainly. Carry on.

Fujima: Can I drive a little faster?

Kageyama: Okay, but be careful.

Fujima: *eyes sparkling in delight* Capital!

            Excited, Fujima increases his speed. Consequently, their car collides with a police car.

Kageyama: *frowning, scrawls a sizable red cross on Fujima's form*

**Notes: **Never, ever encourage students to drive any faster.

**Further Notes: **Received a speeding ticket. Ironically, it was issued by the same police officer. Refer to Mitsui Hisashi and Miyagi Ryota's tests.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Hanagata Toru Fails His Driving Test 

Shoyo supporters: Hanagata! Hanagata! *bangs empty bottles together*

Kageyama: Pardon my asking, but exactly **why** are they here?

Hanagata: They wanted to come and cheer for me, partly because they thought their absence resulted to Fujima failing his test. I hope that's all right with you, sensei?

Kageyama: _Look on the bright side…at least they're not fan-girls… _*shudders* Very well. Let's start.

Shoyo supporters: Go, Hanagata, go! Defence! Defence!

Conductor: Oi! Oi! Wrong cheer!

            Anyway…

Kageyama: Let me get this straight…your adherents lined up along the road solely to cheer, support and wish you luck…

Hanagata: I know. Loyal, aren't they?

Kageyama: Indubitably. Turn left…that's right.

Hanagata: Huh? I thought you said left?

Kageyama: *eyes still focused on his writing pad* Right.

Hanagata: …Okay… *turns the wheel to the right*

            The first thing they see coming exactly in their direction is a car.

Kageyama: You're not on the right road!

Hanagata: But this is right! That's what you told me!

Kageyama: For crying out loud, this is a one-way street! *grabs the steering wheel, and succeeds in steering clear of the car*

            Only to run straight into a garbage truck.

**Notes: **Student is easily confused because of one word.

**Further Notes:** Had to purchase numerous perfumes and deodorants to get rid of the awfully foul-smelling, putrid, rotten odour.

**[to be continued]**


	3. Ayako & Ryonan

**Title: **Driving Disasters akaWhy the Slam Dunk Cast Do Not Drive  
**Chapter:** 3/3 (Kageyama: Finally! The end of my torments!)  
**Genre: **Non-yaoi (A/N: Is it too hard to believe?), Humour, General  
**Warning: **Mild OOC (I think…), nonsensical matter, attempted humour, some grammatical mistakes, poor English

**DISCLAIMER: **Here's the million-dollar question…Who's the rightful owner of Slam Dunk? Is it (A) Inoue Takehiko, (B) Inoue Takehiko, (C) Inoue Takehiko, or (D) Inoue Takehiko?   
            Kageyama: I think the author's a bit crappy at the moment…

**Intro: **Why they don't drive cars? No, aside from their age factor, I mean. It's simply because they fail their driving test! And now, I leave it to their driving instructor, Mr. Kageyama Hoshi (He truly made it to chapter 3! Not bad, not bad indeed…), to tell his painful story…I know I should be sorrowful, but why am I laughing?  
- - - - - - - - - - -

Why Ayako Fails Her Driving Test 

Kageyama: Hey, we've met! Aren't you the girl with her cousin brother—Aya-chan, right?

Ayako: *grimaces* I'd prefer you to call me Ayako.

Kageyama: *looks at her details on her form* Ano…you haven't filled in your surname.

Ayako: *looks around to make sure no one else is listening, then whispers to the tester* I can't tell you.

Kageyama: Wha—?

Ayako: I'll have to kill you after that…if you know what I mean.

Kageyama: _Is this girl a national spy or something…? _Oookay…

            To shorten the story…

Kageyama: Go left at the next turn. That's it…Very good…

Ayako: Is it okay if I switch the radio on?

Kageyama: Just make sure it won't distract you.

Ayako: You need not to worry about that. *switches it on*

Deejay: We have the next caller on the line! Hello, who is this?

Caller: Miyagi Ryota.

Ayako: RYOTA????

Kageyama: _That BOY???_

Deejay: Any dedication, Miyagi-san?

Miyagi: Yeah. I'd like to dedicate this poem to the love of my life, Aya-chan.

Deejay: *stiffening chuckles* Let's hear your poem.

Ayako: *blushing, changes the station*

Kageyama: *changes it back for he is curious to listen to Miyagi's poem*

Ayako: *click*

Kageyama: *click*

Miyagi: You are the wind beneath my wings…

Ayako: *click*

Kageyama: *click*

Miyagi: The air that I breath…

Ayako: *click* Can't we listen to something else?

Kageyama: I want to hear what he's saying. *click*

Miyagi: The rainbow in my sky…

Ayako: *click* But I don't want to. It's abashing.

Kageyama: Only for a moment. You should appreciate the effort he has put in just so to prove his undying love for you. *click*

Ayako: *eyebrow twitching, she takes her tessen out* THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!

Kageyama: *comatose*

Miyagi: Nobody folds a paper-fan the way you do…

Ayako: ……

**Notes: **Never allow students to listen to the radio while driving.

**Further Notes:** Deposit bottles of aspirin in the car to relieve frequent headaches.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Aida Hikoichi Fails His Driving Test 

Hikoichi: *genki mood* Kageyama-sensei! I've studied your notes!

Kageyama: _Maybe this kid will succeed… _Very good, I'm very **happy** to hear that. So you know everything by heart?

Hikoichi: *confident expression, nodding his head excitedly* Hmm!!

            On the road…

Kageyama: You're doing fine. Turn to the left. Don't forget to signal.

Hikoichi: Signal?

Kageyama: Yes. You know, when you're turning right, you light the right-side front light…

Hikoichi: Oh no! I forgot about that! I have to check! Yo check ya! *rummages inside his backpack*

Kageyama: Oi! Oi! Keep your eyes on the road!

Hikoichi: Oh, right, I forgot. *stares ahead, but his hands are still in his bag, searching for his book*

Kageyama: *panicking* BAKA~!!!!!!!! *attempts to grab the steering wheel* We're heading straight for that signboard!

Hikoichi: *his hands now are clutching his head* AAAHH! We're going to die!!!! *grabs the driving instructor in fear*

Kageyama: Let go of me! I can't see!

Hikoichi, Kageyama: NOOOOOOO….!!!!!!

            Needless to say, they crash into the poor road sign that says, "Drive carefully. Think of your loved ones".

**Notes:** Student relies heavily on notes.

**Further Notes:** 'Genki' means trouble.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Fukuda Kicchou Fails His Driving Test 

Kageyama: If you keep this up, you'll pass for sure.

Fukuda: *tiny smile*

Kageyama: We've come to a roundabout.

Fukuda: I know that.

Kageyama: …

            For some unknown reason, Fukuda keeps on orbiting the roundabout.

Kageyama: *impatient* Just what are you thinking you're doing?

Fukuda: Driving.

Kageyama: Yeah, but why must you circulate over and over again? We're wasting time!

Fukuda: I feel like it.

Kageyama: *eyebrow twitching* Why must you busy yourself with his absurd and superfluous act??

Fukuda: *is not amused*

            Fukuda enters one road, much to Kageyama's relief. The latter is getting nauseous with all the circling. They pass a notice board that says "Bridge Under Construction. Road Closed."

Kageyama: *now terrified beyond words* What the hell are you trying to do?

Fukuda: Driving this godforsaken car.

Kageyama: Turn back! NOW!!

            The car leaps in the air, off the incomplete overpass, and plunges down into the river.

**Notes: **Student is suffering from mental disorder. Had to fail him for the safety of innocent motorists.

**Further Notes: **Contact psychiatrist immediately for help.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Koshino Hiroaki Fails His Driving Test 

Koshino: So how am I doing so far, Kageyama-sensei?

Kageyama: So far so good. Keep it up, Koshino-kun.

Koshino: *pleased* Saa na…that's because you're a good teacher…

Kageyama: *also pleased*

Koshino: We're stuck in a traffic jam…

Kageyama: It's all right. We're in no hurry. Wait patiently.

            Out of the blue, a car skids in their direction, nearly running into them

Kageyama: *sighs in relief* Lucky we're not hit…

Motorist #1: OI! Don't you know how to drive you @#$&#%+???!!!

Koshino: *enraged, he unwinds the window screen open* NANI??? What'd you just say?? I don't like people calling me names!

Kageyama: *worried* Err, Koshino-kun…

Motorist #1: You're the one who's blind! You're in my road!

Koshino: EXCUSE ME??? YOUR road? Since when?? My car was not moving at all!

Motorist #1: Ho! Are you blaming **me**, boy??

Koshino: YEAH! How'd you get your driving license anyway?

Motorist #2: Hora! Will you two stop it?

Koshino, Motorist #1: Mind your own business, you busybody!

Motorist #2: I RESENT THAT! *gets out of his car and slams the door shut*

Other motorists: *shaking their fist in anger, blowing their horn in irritation, shaking their head, while some are betting on who will win the argument*

Motorist #1: You stink!

Koshino: Good for nothing imbecile who doesn't know how to drive!

Kageyama: *tapping his fingers in exasperation, not daring to interfere*

**Notes: **Student has a very short temper. Remember to teach students about ethics.

**Further Notes:** Apprehended again by the same policeman for causing disturbance on the road. Recognized by the cop instantly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Sendoh Akira Fails His Driving Test 

Sendoh: *driving* This is one of my favourite spots for fishing.

Kageyama: Ah, Sendoh-kun, I see you fish too?

Sendoh: *smiles* You don't say, sensei? You fish as well, I take it? Have you tried fishing around here?

Kageyama: No. I usually go fishing with my friends in Osaka, and sometimes Nagoya.

Sendoh: Sou desu ka. Shall we take the car closer to the water?

Kageyama: Sure, why not?

Sendoh: *drives nearer to the sea* Perhaps we should stop awhile to enjoy the invigorating breeze, sensei?

Kageyama: I'd like that.

Sendoh: Superb!

            Abruptly the car speeds forward, and into the water.

Sendoh: Blub… (Translation: Oops…)

Kageyama: Blub blub blub blub!!?? (What did you just do!!??)

Sendoh: Blub blub blub blub… (I didn't step on the brakes) …blub blub blub, blub! (It's an accident, honest!)

**Notes: **Keep the seaside out of the driving test.

**Further Notes: **Report to the authorities about a shark seen swimming nearby.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Uozumi Jun Fails His Driving Test 

Kageyama: *gulps in fear* _Sugoi…so tall…_

Uozumi: Sensei? What are you staring at?

Kageyama: *looks away* Iie, it's nothing. Follow me, if you please.

            Kageyama brings Uozumi to the car. Not just any car, but a rather small one.

Uozumi: *an odd expression on his face* You're asking me to drive that puny, little car? There's no way I'm going to fit in there!

Kageyama: *guilty look* I'm sorry, Uozumi-kun, but this is the only car available at the moment. All the other cars are with the mechanics…and one in particular is at the bottom of the sea. *flinches*

            Whether Uozumi likes it or not, he still has to take the test—and that means he has to settle for the car, even if he's oversized for it. Already Kageyama has that disturbing feeling, a scary premonition, but as Uozumi starts the engine and begins driving, the hapless driving instructor knows it is too late to back away.

Uozumi: *feels very uncomfortable, very cramped, and discontented*

Kageyama: *praying raptly to push away any misfortune*

            They come to a junction. Uozumi rotates the car without making sure if it is indeed safe for him to do so.

Kageyama: *reproachfully* You didn't look to the sides to check for incoming vehicles.

Uozumi: *incensed* I can hardly turn my head! Eh…what's that?

Kageyama: *leans forward to get a better view* It's a cow crossing the road. *realizes a **tremendously **obvious fact* You're going to hit it!

Uozumi: *tries to turn the steering wheel, but since it's awfully compacted in the car, the steering wheel remains stationary*

Kageyama: We're done for!!!

Cow: Moo…MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Notes: **Make sure the vehicle is suitable for the student to use.

**Further Notes: **WHY WAS THAT GODDAMNED, BLASTED COW LOITERING ON THE ROAD?!?!?!?!?!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [owari desu] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -    -

Kageyama: *in crutches and bandages* And so, that's how the story ends. The authoress would like to express her gratitude to the reader for reading and she's hoping for reviews…  
Authoress: *whacks Kageyama mercilessly*  
Kageyama: *passes out*


End file.
